Hello my lovelies,
So. It’s almost time for a new year, and that means saying goodbye to the previous one. 2015 is almost over – feels such a strange thing to be saying! Like every year, I can’t imagine how I’ll ever get used to it being 2016, though I know (like every year) I will. But before I start looking forward, I think I need to look back a little, and reflect on the past year, before it totally runs out. In some ways, maybe moving on, and thinking about the future is a better idea, but for me personally, I think it’s important to give a little thought to how I’ve spent the last 12 months, and take some lessons from 2015 forward into 2016 with me.
2015 has been a weird mixture; a slightly dodgy cocktail of ups and downs, excitement and disappointment, pride and self-loathing. But I guess that’s like every year. There’ve been so many great moments this year – I went to my first proper gig, I started this blog, I managed to get through my Grade 7 Clarinet exam without a panic attack – and for that I will be eternally grateful. I’ve shown that I can work at something, be committed, and overcome challenges I’ve faced. I also have the memories of countless days spent with friends in hysterics, of family holidays where everything just seems perfect, of achievements on my blog and in real life, and these are the kind of things that make a year successful. To me, success can only be measured by how happy you are, how many times you’ve smiled, and this year has definitely had it’s fair share of smiles.
But I’d be lying if I left it at that – there’s a flip side to everything, and if I don’t acknowledge mine, there’d be no point to this post; I wouldn’t be reflecting honestly. Because this year is the year a lot of things hit me: stress, self loathing, insecurity. I’ve had days where I just hate my life, and wish I could rewrite it all, and I’ve had times when it’s just all too much. Sometimes, a throwaway comment hits me like a bus, and makes me start to question everything about myself, and doubt whether I’m really worth anything at all. Insecurities that I previously didn’t even know I had have come out with a vengeance, and I’m not even going to go into the number of times I’ve wished I was someone else.
But the important thing is, I’m learning to accept these days. You can’t be human and not feel this kind of thing sometimes. You just can’t. And maybe that’s what’s so great about a new year: with it, comes a new start, and so maybe to some extent I can rewrite my life. Or if not rewrite, at least edit out sections of me that I’m not happy with, and add in chapters I like, and can be proud of. Life is a work in progress, and I guess I just have to accept that I’m not done yet, so of course I’m not perfect. Indeed, I may never be completed to the standards I want and I will probably never be able to call myself “finished” (who can?) but that doesn’t mean I should stop trying to make improvements. And neither should you. This year, I’m going to try to be kinder. To think more of others. To be less self-absorbed, and recognise that I’m not the only one with problems. I’m going to try and be kinder to myself as well. To be more positive about my qualities, and focus less on my shortcomings, and the ways I’m not good enough. I’m going to make an effort to be happy, and to make people around me happy too.
So think about your year. What have you realised about yourself that you are proud of? And what do you want to work on? We all have some of each, and that’s okay. I promise. Let’s take the opportunity of the new year to improve on the last one, even if it’s just in one tiny little way. I challenge you to make those changes. You’ll end up happier.
We are all a work in progress, so what are you going to work on in 2016?
I hope you enjoyed this post, and it has inspired you to reflect on your past year, and think about what changes you’d like to make. If you’re happy to share them (I can see that they might be too personal), I’d love to read your reflections below, and what you’ve decided to work on in the new year, so please do comment.
Lots of love, as always,
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And don’t get me wrong, Primark is fabulous, but it doesn’t exactly scream chic simplicity. Recently, however, I’ve been absolutely adoring more understated pieces, which I now realise can still look incredible, and her blog has been pretty much my go to place for inspiration. I think Autumn/Winter is a great time to rock simpler looks, and I’m going to really give that a go this year and see where it takes me.
My Teenage Madness 